Websites Can Ruin Things
by Mickarius Smith
Summary: Steve is insecure about sex. Clint really is NOT helping with the websites. Tony is so screwed. Stony, mischievous assassins.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Avengers_

**Warning:** Slash, probable OOC, a bit of a crack fic, shy!Steve, Confused!Tony, Devilish!Clint, tired-of-them-all!Natasha, a bored author late at night, I might write more but i'm not sure, Rated T just in case I add more.

_**Websites Can Ruin Things**_

Captain America was always very in control, he knew what he had to do and he _did_ it. He _was_ Captain America after all, an icon and a leader. He never wavered on missions and he always told people point blank what he thought...

Steve Rogers on the other hand... polite, kind, well-mannered. The poster child for a nice boy, according to Natasha. He always spoke when he thought it was needed, and he still stood up for people who needed him, but he was also sort of... shy.

The new time was strange, woman _came onto him_ so openly! He was allowed to date _men_. It had all been so strange, was still strange. But then, Tony Stark happened. He somehow convinced Steve to start hanging out with him, which progressed to dates, which led to a relationship _somehow_.

He had kissed Tony, and he really liked kissing Tony. They did it a lot too, apparently he was determined to claim Steve and they were reprimanded for public displays of affection a few times. They even progressed to other things that made Steve blush just thinking about it.

He knew how things were going they would end up in bed sooner or later, and that was nerve wrecking for him. Tony liked teasing him for being ignorant about intimacy as well, which helped his insecurities grow.

Then this disaster had made him avoid Tony altogether. On the off chance Tony cornered him he would avoid all affection from the man. And really, it was Clint's fault. Then again, it usually was...

XXX

"Hey, Cap, have you seen this?" Clint laughed, sitting with a laptop in the living room.

"Seen what?" Steve frowned, approaching tentatively. Last time Clint asked him that, it had been a horrid video about two young women and a cup... he still had nightmares. There was no video on the screen, most of it looked like text.

"Oh god, here check this out, I have to go spar with Nat anyway." He stood, handing the computer over. Steve looked at the screen and frowned.

_**I Slept With Tony Stark!**_

_Share your story of a rendezvous you had with the infamous playboy~_

_One Night at Club Moonlight... Post by Mara L._

_He Led Me to the Restroom... Post by Jack H._

_So This Hot Drunk Guy Approaches... Post by Star L._

_I Was Sitting at the Bar... Post by Cobra B._

_He Takes Off His Tie... Post by Laura S._

_He Knows What He's Doing... Post by Kevin T._

Steve stared at the website for a while, reading more of the titles, tentatively he opened one of the stories. Then another. Then another. Soon he had read thirty four stories. Tony was drunk in some, dominating in others, an ass in most, and always 'one of the best lays.'

How was Steve expected to sleep with a man who had a website dedicated to how good he was at sex?

XXX

"What did you do?" Tony asked, walking into the range. Natasha and Clint looked at him confusedly.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't act innocent with me Katniss, you did something to Steve. He's avoiding me."

"You can't blame me for you estranging your man," Clint glowered.

"Except I didn't do anything this time, I always _know_ when I screw up, and Jarvis confirms this probably wasn't my fault, so what did you do?"

"What makes you think I did anything?"

"Because you _always_ do something hawk-ass." He was glared at for a moment, then Clint looked thoughtful, going over all the acts of discord he had accomplished.

"The only torment i've given to Cap is..." his eyes widened a moment, and he grinned. Clint grinning was never a good thing. "I showed him a website is all."

"What website?"

"Uhh, I Slept With Tony Stark or something similar." Clint chuckled. Natasha smirked at this.

"Is it true you found a man visiting from London and had him up against the wall in a bathroom stall?" She continued to smirk.

"That rhymed," Clint giggled. "I really liked the one where he tied that model to the bed frame with his tie, she said he ruined sex for her because no one was as good."

"There's a website dedicated to sex with me?" Tony smirked at this.

"And your boyfriend found it." Natasha snickered, "Nothing screams commitment quite like a website of debauchery committed by ones lover."

"But that happened before I met him, hell that was before he wasn't capsicle."

"He comes from a different time," Natasha shrugged. "Go talk to him and stop bothering us... unless you would like to join us for a spar?"

Tony was out of the room faster than they had ever seen him move. "Maybe he's intimidated?" Clint frowned, as the door closed behind Tony.

"Of course he's intimidated, Steve is as virginic as they come and Tony is a whore monger." Natasha snorted, did no one grasp basic psychology? Steve had been uncomfortable for a while. His body language practically screamed his insecurities out... maybe they just weren't as well trained as her?

If only Tony had heard this... as it were, he was left to deal with the mess Clint helped make by himself.


	2. Chapter 2: Sex Shops Don't Help

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Avengers_

**Warning:** OOCness, a dash of crack, less virginal! Steve, stressed! Tony, Clint is evil, I wrote this forever after the first part, I had no idea how ridiculous the first part was, people get their shit together, also I am evil and have Pheels, etc…

_**Websites Can Ruin Things**_

_**Sex Shops Don't Help**_

"So… are we going to help him clean up your mess?" Natasha asked; she appeared disinterested as she flipped the page of her magazine.

"Do we ever?" Clint asked, killing a monster on his video game. "Plus, Cap is being ridiculous; sex isn't a good enough reason to lose your shit that bad."

"He's twenty-six, and has only ever been kissed by two women." Natasha paused, "before Tony anyway."

"So? _Tasha_ I don't want to be nice." He whined, dropping the controller.

"You don't have to be _helpful_, you need only help them get their shit together. I am growing tired of Tony's incessant moping, and Steve is going around like a kicked puppy, it is not amusing any longer."

"Says you," Clint pouted, but he had a healthy respect for a not amused Natasha, and liked his knee caps as they were. "Fine, so should I get him not as freaked out about sex?"

"If you like, just fix it."

"_Fine_, everyone in the Tower is going to be getting some but me." He grumbled, marching away. Natasha rolled her eyes, then looked to the discarded controller… she had not played in a while, and beating Clint's record was always amusing.

XXX

"Where are we going?" Steve asked, following Clint through the streets of an area Tony would describe as 'ghetto.'

"You'll _see_, Cap. I'm helping you with your problem." Clint grinned. Steve paled, Clint never grinned for any _good_ reason. He stopped, Steve almost ran into him. "We're here!"

It was a brick building, with windows covered by velvet curtains and posters of women in underwear on the outside. He felt himself begin to blush. "Is this…? Is this a…?"

"It's a sex shop. We're giving you a modern education." Clint smiled, dragging his friend into the store.

XXX

"What did you do?" Clint did not even blink as did his reps.

"I took Cap on an adventure."

"An adventure to _where_? Steve hasn't left his room in four hours and Jarvis is worried." Clint raised a brow, Jarvis being worried meant Tony was.

"I just took him to _Madam Lila's _and showed him that there was nothing to be worried about because you weren't a creep."

"You took Steve to a _sex shop_?"

"And I explained to him BDSM and the like, and I told him you weren't into that stuff and that I was pretty sure you have de-virginized enough people to know what you were doing."

"And you thought that would be… _helpful_?" Tony was now trying to convince himself smashing his head against the wall was a bad idea.

"He freaked out a _little_ bit, but that's what you get for bribing Tasha into convincing me to help."

"You knew about that?" Tony was now looking sheepish.

"Darcy likes me better than you and I did find it strange that she just happened to be visiting when Natasha and Bruce weren't working."

"Oh…" Tony shuffled a little. "Do you hate me? Is that was this is? Make the one good thing in my life completely terrified of me?"

Clint paused, and set his weights down. He sat up, giving Tony a bored look, then he sighed. "You guys were avoiding the subject; you would never have even broached the subject without my involvement."

Clint paused again, looking a little annoyed. "Honestly, I expected you to man up and go talk to him about it. He may be from the 40's and be a little inexperienced but he's still a man and he can handle a _conversation_."

"What?" Tony frowned.

"You two have been tiptoeing around each other for months, everyone was getting tired of you two acting like you were in high school. Grow up and go _talk_ to him like an adult. I think he's more insecure about not being as good at sex as past partners."

"How do I get him out of his _room_?" Tony frowned, but he knew Clint was right, usually Clint's mischief _did_ serve a purpose.

"Knock on his door and say 'Hey, Stevie-kins I need to talk to you because Clint is an ass,' like usual? Jesus, I know you're insecure as fuck about dating a younger guy, but he adores you. Seriously, if the issue is not fixed by tomorrow I'm going to break your knee cap."

"You can't threaten me in my own Tower-"

"Tomorrow is in three hours," Clint pointed out, smiling pleasantly. Tony ran out.

XXX

Steve was sitting in the kitchen, missing Tony whom he had not really _talked_ to for the better part of a week. He just got so nervous whenever Tony was there, because he couldn't get his mind _off_ of sex…

"Steve?" He heard someone call. He hopped off his seat, walking to the door, meeting Tony halfway.

"Tony," he smiled, bending down to give him a kiss. _God _he had missed him. Tony leaned into the kiss a little, before pulling away. He was smiling now too.

"Miss me?"

"You have no idea," Steve chuckled. "I apologize for acting so strangely lately…"

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that, I know Clint is an _ass_ and he likes to torment you, but look… I mean… I wouldn't pressure you… or anything. I can wait, you know? And I don't do any weird shit unless that's what you're in to…"

"Tony?" he asked, while Tony rambled.

"I know sex was a topic swept under the rug in the forties and all, and that you weren't really getting any, so I get you are nervous, but you know I wouldn't do anything you didn't like, I mean I do love you."

"Tony?"

"And I know that I have had a _lot_ of sex, so you might be worried about it not being special, but any time with you is special to me, and if we _never_ have sex that'd be okay, although I might prefer it somewhere down the line. I just want us to be together and happy and-"

He was cut off by Steve kissing him again, with tongue. A minute later Steve pulled away and Tony was only a _little_ dazed. "I did get a little eccentric about it, but I love you too and I _want_ to have sex… I just… um, I was nervous…"

Steve was blushing now, and smiling a little. "I mean, the stories freaked me out a little because they were so extreme and… exciting? I don't know how I would handle fucking against a wall in a bar, but I do want to have sex… in your bed, for starters, maybe?"

"Did Captain America just use the word 'fucking'?"

"Not the point, Tony."

"Right, so... you do want to have sex? Sometime soon?"

"I have wanted to have se since I was fifteen, eleven years is a long wait, you know? Technically eighty or so, so how about we go discuss this in your bedroom?"

"Was that a euphemism?" Tony blinked.

"We did talk about se in the forties, not as casually as you all do, but we _did_." Steve said, pulling Tony towards the room.

XXX

"So we owe Clint flowers or some shit," Tony said, face resting on Steve's chest. The sheet was covering their waists to ankles, wrapped around them from their earlier activities.

"Why do we owe him flowers?" Steve asked, leaning over to kiss Tony again.

"Because we would never have gotten around to this unless he had been an asshole." Tony cuddled a little more.

"This?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You know, making love…" Steve chuckled a little because now Tony was a little embarrassed.

"The difference between this century and mine is that having sex is easier than _talking_ about it…" He rolled over a little, kissing Tony again.

"We can do more talking if you want, I can talk about it, then I can _demonstrate _it," Tony grinned. Steve laughed as Tony shoved him over and straddled him.

XXX

Clint rested on the balcony, looking out at New York and sipping his beer. Tony and Steve had not left their room for about six hours so far, he got a fruit basket an hour before. Natasha and Bruce had grabbed Darcy and taken her to their floor, he did not expect to see them for a while.

He was not too surprised, Bruce and Natasha did not get to see their girl often. Jane was visiting Thor as well, he did not expect to see her the entirety of her visit. Thor's libido was more ridiculous than Tony's.

Literally _everyone_ in the Tower was getting some. Pepper and Happy were even curled up in Happy's apartment on a lower level. He gave a small huff, drunkenly pulling the chain from his neck.

A lone dog tag and a wedding ring hung on them, he rubbed his fingers over them. "I miss you, Phil," he whispered to the night.


End file.
